This article was collected by my Chittappa Late S A Narayanan, Chennai and shared long back.. Source unknown but useful for coming generation...
Introduction
Marriage
ceremonies and rituals, though based on the common religious precepts are
different for different castes in India. It is also different for the same
caste living in different parts of the country not only based on the Veda or
Sutra they belong but also due to customs that the community has adopted.
An
attempt has been made to list out and describe the various rituals and
functions of the marriage of Iyers. It does not mean that these are same for
all Iyers. According the Veda and the Sutra that they follow as well as the
custom adopted by the families these can be different. The marriage rituals,
except for a few have not been stable over years. It has kept on changing
according to the needs and conveniences of the iyer society. Even about 100
years back, most of the marriages were celebrated for four days. Little earlier
to that Vara Dakshina or dowry was not in practice but Kanya Shulka or brides
money was given to the father of the bride. What are being described are the functions
and rituals, as it should be based on the Vedas and different family customs,
which are in vogue. Some effort has also been made to give the significance of
these functions as well as the meanings of the important mantras recited at
different times.
Marriage for a Hindu is not a
contract but a sacrament or in other words. a function dictated by religion
aimed at elevating two individuals in to a unified whole called the family. But
going through the following, it could be seen that all the prayers are chanted
by the groom. All prayers are aimed at purifying the bride and no where a need
for purification of the groom is mentioned. (One of the learned referees of
this article has pointed out that, performance of Vritha cleans the bridegroom).
It could also be seen that majority of the rituals are dictated by custom
rather than by religion. Marriage is one of the 40 samskaras (16 according to
some), which every individual has to undergo from the time of conception in the
womb of the mother till the individuals death. Samskara in Sanskrit means refining
Marriage is one of the important samskaras in an individual's life.
Every
individual iyer knows that the iyer marriage is a very complicated function.
They would however be surprised to know that the part dictated by Vedas in the
marriage ceremony is extremely less. Most of the manthras are very significant
but some of them are extremely out dated. Some of the out dated ceremonies are
slowly being changed or left out by our forefathers. We have to be really proud
of that group of people who were tied in orthodoxy of those times but willing
to change once they realized that it is not relevant. Apart from the Vedic
rituals there are also puranic rituals, which must have crept in with passage
of time. This was possibly the reason why the Indian Constitution tells that
the stipulated marriage rites of a Hindu community are those rites, which have
been prevalent for the past 25 years. There are also umpteen rituals in the
iyer marriage, which has nothing to do with Veda or puranas or even the
religion. These are the loukika rituals. Sumnagalis or married women whose
husbands are alive take a leadership in determining and carrying out these
rituals.
Broadly
in the iyer marriage the Vedic rituals are 1. Groom asks for the girl from her
father through intermediaries 2. Father of the bride agrees 3. The father of
the groom gives permission for the groom to marry 4. The bride's father gives
his daughter as a gift to the groom and then 5. The Groom marries the bride who
is now his. But the rituals and steps are much more than five The rituals and
functions as was the practiced are:
1. Vang Nischayam
2. Sumangali Prarthana
3. Pongi Podal at the
aunt's house
4. Yatra danam at the
Grooms house
5. Receiving of the
Grooms party
6. Vara Praekshanam
7. Janu Vasam
8. Nischaathartham
9. Vritham for the
groom and Kappu Kettal (Raksha) for the bride
10. Sprinkling of
Paligai
11. Para desi kolam and Kasi Yatrai
12. Malai mattal or Exchange of garlands
13. Unchal and Pachai podi
14. Vara Poojai
15. Telling of Pravaram
16. Dharai Varthal or Kanya danam
17. Agni prathishtapanam
18. Madu Parkam and Vara pooja
19. Looking at the bride
20. Vivaha sankalpam, Kanya samskaram and Mangala
snanam
21. Mangalya dharanam
22. Wearing of toe ring by the bride
23. Prayer while tying the string made of Dhurbha
24. Groom leading the bride in front of the fire
25. Agni muhurtham
26. Panigrihanam
27. Saptha padhi
28. Parinayam and Pradhana homam
29. Asmarohanam, Laja Homam and Agni Pradakshinam
30. Removal of Dhurba tied around the bride
31. Jayadhi homam
32. Aseervadham and Phala Dhanam
33. Palum Pazhamum
34. Marriage feast (Lunch)
35. Nalangu
36. Journey towards husband's home
37. Griha pravesam
38. Pravesya Homam
39. Gandharva pooja
40. Prayer for getting good children
41. Seeing of Arundhathi and Dhruva
42. Post Marriage Rituals
a. Sthali bhagam
b. Oupasanam
c. Sesha homam
d. Nandi sraddham
e. Kooshmanda Homam
f. Phala dhanam
g. Thamboola charvanam
h. Aseervadam
1. Vaaang Nischayam (Loukika)
The families after examining the
compatibility of the couples both physical and mental and the longevity of
their wedded life from the horoscopes initiate the marriage negotiations. This
consists of enquiring about the background of the bride's and groom's families
and a visit of the groom and family to the bride's house. Once the groom and
bride like each other both families decide to perform the marriage. A simple
ceremony which was preceded by a Vigneswara pooja and exchange of Nalikera and
Thamboola (Coconut, betel leaf and arecanut) before elderly people of both
families, by the brides and grooms parents is called Vaang Nischaya, Later the
reading of Lagna Patrika (or a contract by both parents about the performance
of the marriage) was added to this simple function. But this has now become a
mini marriage ceremony, which is celebrated in the groom's house. Apart from
what is described in the last paragraph, mutual garlanding of the groom by the
bride and a big feast for large number of invited guests etc form a part of
this function.
2. Sumangali Prarthanai (Loukika)
This is a prayer by the groom's and
bride's families to those ladies of their family who have died as sumangalis.
i. e. died before their husbands. The blessings of these sumangalis are sought
by inviting 5-8 Sumangalis for a special pooja and a traditional feast.
Normally the married daughters and sisters of the family are included in the
list of invitees. All Sumangalis come to the feast in a traditional attire of a
nine-yard sari. Here the Sumangalis invited represent the dead Sumangalis of
the house and they are first woshipped and fed. It is interesting to note that
this is the only iyer function in which women eat before men. Apart from
Sumangalis a kanya is also invited. There is lot of variation of this pooja,
which almost differs from family to family. No priest is called and no Sanskrit
sloka is recited. It is a custom in certain families to hold it after the
marriage so that the daughter or daughter-in -law participates as a Sumangali
in this Pooja.
3. Pongi Podal (Loukika)
Female elders were extremely
important in an iyer family especially the father's sisters (aunt) and mother's
brothers' wife (Mami). Before the marriage these relations used to invite their
nephew (or niece) for a traditional feast in which Pongal Chadam (rice cooked
with Dhal and turmeric), which is the sign of prosperity, is prepared. Also all
the dishes that their nephew (or niece) likes are prepared. This is a sort of
farewell feast by these elders to the bride or groom who are going to form a
family themselves.
4. Yatra Danam (Puranic)
Iyer marriages always take place in
the bride's place of residence and so there is a need for the groom and his
parents to travel to the bride's place. So before starting a Vigneswara Pooja
is performed and dana is given to Brahmins to ward of evils. It is also
customary to break a coconut before the party departs to ward of evil eye.
5. Receiving of the grooms party (Loukika)
This is a very important function
of yester years and used to be done at the boundary of the village. The bride's
parents receive the groom and his family with coconuts and Nadaswaram and lead
them to the place where stay has been arranged. With the concept of village
undergoing change, nowadays the groom's party is taken to their place of stay
and is received in front of the mantap by the bride's parents and relatives.
They are received besides the usual coconut, flowers and Thamboola with two
conical structures called "Paruppu Thengai Kutti" made of dhal,
jaggery and coconut. This sort of reception with Kutti happens five times
during the marriage ritual. Though still called Paruppu (dhal), Thengai
(coconut) Kutti, these are nowadays made of cashew nut or Laddu or Lozenges of
various other sweets. This Nadaswaram troupe continues to play till the
marriage ceremonies over in the mantap. Off and on, when important rituals take
place, the priest's signal for Getti melam, which means faster and louder
playing of the drum. This is supposed to prevent bad words or words of ill omen
from being heard at the marriage hall.
6. Vara Prekshanam or Kanya Varanam (Vedic)
This is a ceremony in which the
groom sends learned Brahmins as his emissaries to the groom's father and
requests him to give his daughter in marriage to him. The mantras recited are
from Rig Veda. This consists of several parts: i. Requests to the Brahmins to
Go on his behalf: Hey Elders, You have decided to help me based on my request.
Please go with a contended heart to request a bride for me. You would be all
blessed by the devas who will get their share in the yagas to be performed by
my wife and me after marriage. ii. Prays for a safe passage to the elders: Let
the path of these elders who are my friends be devoid of stones and thorns. Let
Aryama the deva unite the bride and me. Let the family that we are going to
build be holy and well joined. Let the path these elders take be the shortest
and straight one. Let the Deva Aryama help these elders in their endeavor.
7. Janu Vasam (Loukika)
This is a very important function
of the iyer marriage. In the present day it consists of getting dressed in
western clothes by the groom at the nearby temple and from there coming to the
mantap in a grand procession to accept the bride. The bride's brother presents
the dresses for the occasion to the groom before the januvasam and arrangements
are made to take them to a predetermined temple. A special Pooja of the deity
is also arranged It also is an indirect exposure of the groom to the general
public. If some body knows some thing negative about him (like he is already
married or he is a bad character), they get a chance of telling it to the
bride's father. The procession nowadays is in a car preceded by a grand
nadaswaram and some times bursting of crackers. In the olden days the
procession used to be even on elephants. This procession also has some very
interesting implication. According to the Vedas, once upanayanam is over for a
Brahmin boy, he becomes a Brahma charin or one who walks in the way of Brhama.
It was a time for him to learn Vedas and other necessary knowledge. It was
customary during those times that he used to wear one white short cloth up to
the knee, never shave or have a hair cut, never wear a garland or
scents,
never wear sandal paste and in fact lead a saintly life. Janu means knee and
vasam is cloth. Janu Vasam is really a procession in which the groom is brought
to the bride's house as a brahmachari. He was expected to wear only a cloth up
to the knee. Ofcouse now it is not like that.
8. Nischayathartham (Loukika)
This is an important item of the
marriage ritual and is normally held in the previous evening to the marriage
and after the Janu Vasam. This consists of a preliminary Ganapathi Pooja
followed by honouring the parents of the groom by the parents of the bride and
vice versa and announcing the final agreement by the bride's parents that they
are willing to give their daughter in marriage to this groom. The groom and his
parents accept the proposal. The groom's parents give her a silk sari during
this time. She receives this and changes whatever sari she wears with the new
one. The groom's sister ties in some families Thamboola in the end of this
sari. Please note that the proposal was initiated by the groom through the
intermediary of the elders and not by the bride's parents as is common now.
This system must have changed from Vedic times in the recent past. In this
function elders from both families meet each other and bless the groom and the
bride for a happy future. There is also a custom of giving articles for washing
and make up as well as two dolls by the groom's party to the bride during this
occasion. It is called for Vilayadal or playing. This is supposed to be given
by the groom's sister. Sometimes along with this she also presents a silk sari.
There is a tendency nowadays of holding the marriage reception after this
Nischayathatham. Under normal circumstances there seems to be nothing wrong but
many of the rituals reserved for the marriage like Garlanding of each other and
pani Grahanam take place then. Though some elders frown at this tendency most
of them accept it. But if the marriage does not take place after this pani
grahanam and Mala Dharanam, for some reason or other, it will be really tragic
as these are part of the Hindu marriage ceremonies.
9. Vritham and Kappu Kettal (Vedic)
As mentioned under Januvasam, the
groom is still a brhamacharin in the ascetic garb. He is unshaved, uncut and
supposed to lead a strict life as prescribed. His Guru when he was initiated in
this life of penance is his father. So it is essential that before he gets
married he has to take permission from his father (Guru) to end his Brhama
Charya Vritha and marry and lead a life of a Grihastha. This function is
Vritham. This function could also be performed in the groom's house before he
departs to the bride's house for marriage. The bride's family lead by the
maternal aunt of the bride normally invites the groom with a pair of Paruppu
Thengai Kutti. During this time the groom's father makes him perform all the
samskaras like namakaranam, Choulam, Annaprasanam etc which for some reason
have not been performed and also make the groom do the duties as a brahmacharin
which he has not performed like Khanda rishi tharpanam, Prajapatyam, Saumyam,
Agneyam, Vaiswadevam etc and complete the samavarthana(life of a brhma charin).
It is necessary according to religious beliefs that he has gained expertise in
Vedas by this time. Simultaneously a Raksha (Protection) in the form of a
sacred string is tied in the wrist of the bride after reciting Vedic manthras
to protect her from all evil spirits and also those Gandharvas, who were
holding charge of her till then. There is a custom of giving oil for bath,
green gram for oil bath, sweets to eat after he takes a bath, to the groom
before the Vritha by the aunt (Athai) of the bride. Nowadays this has been
enlarged to include a shaving set, toilet articles like soap scent etc. Earlier
days all these were supposed to be given during the early morning of the
marriage at the groom's quarters with accompaniment of Nadaswaram etc. But
nowadays, it is mostly handed over to the groom's party the previous night.
This is a purely Loukika custom.
10. Sprinkling of Paligai (Puranic)
Pali means row of trees and this
ritual would have been planting of trees by the groom's and bride's families
for the upkeep and happiness of the groom and the bride. In modern days, this
consists of sowing germinated seeds of nine kinds of pre-soaked cereals in 5
mud pots (layered with green grass and bilva leaves) by married women
(Sumangalis) relatives of the groom and the bride. They first sow the
germinated seeds and pour milk with water over it. It is a custom nowadays to
have five such pots for each side. Five sumangalis (three from the groom's
relatives and two from the bride's relatives in case of the groom's side and
three from the bride's relatives and two from the bride's side in case of
bride's side) sow the germinated grain and pray for long happy married life for
the couple as well as several children to brighten their homes. In Kerala,
these germinated plants in the mud pots are supposed to be left in the river nearby
after 4 days. There is an opinion from a learned referee that, rather that the
germinated seeds should be eaten as is the custom in Karnataka. But during
modern times, this is rarely done and nobody bothers about the germinated
seeds.
Tamil Wedding Ceremony
Tamilians have their own rituals
followed before, during and after the wedding, which look very vibrant. All the
customs are followed with religious observance. All the people, right from the
prospective bride and the groom to the family members, friends and relatives
have the festive mood, which is set by the ceremony. The ambience is filled
with nothing but happiness and celebration. The festive spirits are boosted up
among the people, witnessing the ceremony, by the colorful and elaborate rituals
that are conducted before, during and after the marriage.
The pre-marriage rituals followed
by the Tamil speaking Brahmins include fasting, puja and exchange of gifts. The
groom is received by the family of the bride. The wedding ceremony is also
elaborate, which incorporates the rituals that are typical to the Brahmin
community, such as oonjal, kashi yatra and kanyaadaan (wherein the bride sits
on the lap of her father). Post-marriage, the bride and the groom are given
treats and gifts. After swearing in as the wife, the bride enters the groom's
home to prosper his life there. This is the way most of the marriages are
conducted among the Tamil speaking Brahmins in India and all over the world. In
this section, we have given detailed information on the traditional Tamil
wedding ceremony.
Tamil Pre-Wedding Rituals
Tamil wedding is a vast affair,
wherein a number of rituals are followed. Well before the wedding day, people
(including the family members of the prospective bride and the groom) are
engaged in the preparations of the ceremony, which is considered a very
important turning point in the couple's life. This is the reason why, marriage
is given supreme importance and a number of ceremonies are conducted before,
during and after it. You would just like to stand and witness the typical Tamil
Brahmin wedding, which incorporates unique customs. Explore all about the Tamil
pre-wedding rituals in the following lines.
Tamil Pre-Wedding Customs
Panda Kaal Muhurtham
Panda Kaal Muhurtham is a
pre-wedding ritual conducted by the Tamilians, in order to seek blessings from
the Almighty. Generally, a short ritual is performed a day prior to the
wedding, wherein both the families of the bride and the groom offer prayers to
the Lord. This is done to ensure that the wedding preparations proceed without
any hassle.
Receiving The Groom
When the groom's family reaches the
wedding venue on the morning of one day before the wedding, they are greeted
and welcomed warmly, by the bride's family, by offering them a tray containing
flowers, beetle nuts, fruits and mishri. Rose water is also sprinkled on them.
The bride's brother applies tilak
made by mixing sandalwood paste and kumkum, on the groom's forehead.
Thereafter, the brother also puts a garland around the groom's neck. Then, the
bride's mother serves a delicious dessert prepared from condensed milk.
Thereafter, aarti is performed by an elder female member of the bride's family.
In order to culminate the ritual and to ward-off the evil eye, a coconut is
broken on the ground.
Vratham & Pallikai Thellichal
Vratham (fasting) takes place one
day prior to the marriage. The fasting is performed by the bride as well as the
groom's family. In the mean time, Vedic hymns are chanted, which is conducted
by the priest (Vaadyar). This ritual is performed to invoke the blessings of
ancestors and the Almighty.
Pallikai Thellichal ceremony is
also held a day before the wedding. It involves the filling of clay pots with
nine varieties of grains. Married women pour water from either sides of the
pot. This is followed by singing of traditional songs. The grains are allowed
to sprout, by soaking them in water for a day or two. Then the clay pots are
kept inside the pond, so that the fishes can feed on the sprouted grains and
shower blessings to the couple, who is going to tie the nuptial knot.
Naandi & Jaanavaasam
Naandi ceremony is conducted to
honor the Brahmins by presenting gifts and sweets to them. They are specially
invited and the families seek their blessings, to ensure that the wedding is
carried on smoothly.
Although the ritual of Jaanavaasam
has faded away with the passing time, it is still followed by some Tamil
Brahmin families. During Jaanavaasam, the groom boards a beautifully decorated
car. He is accompanied by a large marriage procession of close friends and
relatives. Professional musicians are called invited to entertain the
procession by playing the traditional wedding songs. Fireworks form part of
marriage celebrations. The bride's brother puts garland around the groom's
neck, in order to welcome him at the entrance of the wedding hall.
Nicchiyadharatham
The bride's parents offer prayers
to Lord Ganesha, who is believed to banish all obstacles. A puja is conducted
in the presence of priest. The groom's family presents a new sari to the bride.
Her forehead is adorned with a tilak made from chandan and kumkum and her
sari's pallu is filled with fruits, beetle nuts, turmeric, kumkum and coconut.
In addition, a flower garland is tied around her waist. Aarti is done for the
bride.
Reading Of Lagna Pathirigai
The priest plays a prominent role
in the reading of Lagna Pathirigai, a pre-marriage ritual conducted by the
Tamil Brahmins. He also announces other details related to marriage, including
the muhurtam and the venue for the wedding. Thereafter, mouthwatering lavish
dinner is served.
Tamil Wedding Rituals.. Cont..
Tamil wedding rituals are very
elaborate. They involve a number of ceremonies that are performed to ensure
that the bride and the groom, who are going to tie the wedding knot, enter
their new phase of life in the most elegant manner. A number of ceremonies
revolve around the wedding, which is very charming to look at. Every stage of
the rituals is performed with religious observance. The ambience is filled with
festivity. You would be highly enthusiastic about what is going to happen next,
if you witness a typical Tamil Brahmin wedding. Go through the following lines
to know more about the Tamil Brahmin wedding rituals.
Tamil Wedding Customs
Mangala Snaanam & Kashi Yatra
After applying oil, and a tilak of
haldi-kimkum, the bride and the groom take the mangala snaanam (holy bath) at
the respective homes, on the dawn of the wedding day. After having the mangala
snaanam, the bridegroom pretends that he is leaving for Kashi and he is no more
interested in performing the role of a householder. He stops only when the
girl's father persuades him to take the responsibility of his daughter, by
marrying her. Then the groom heads his way for the wedding pandal, where the
bride and her family receives him. This beautiful custom is known as kashi
yatra.
Exchange Of Garlands & Oonjal
After the groom enters the pandal,
he exchanges garlands for three times with the bride. This ceremony is full of
fun and frolic. Thereafter, they are seated together on a swing. Married women
give the newly weds spoonful of milk and banana pieces to eat.
Kanyadaanam & Muhurtham
As the groom reaches the mandapam,
the bride's father welcomes his son-in-law. The groom's mother-in-law puts
kajal in his eyes. Thereafter, his father-in-law washes his feet, considering
him as God. The bride is then seated in her father's lap with a coconut in her
hands. Thereafter, the bride and her father offer coconut to the bridegroom. In
the meantime, the bride's mother puts water over the coconut. This gesture
symbolizes the kanyaadaan of their daughter. The bridegroom's family presents
their daughter-in-law a nine-yard sari that she has to wear, when the
mangalsutra will be tied around her neck. Seeking the help of her sister-in-law
and aunts, the bride wears the nine-yard sari and enters the mandapam. A sack
of paddy is kept on the floor and the bride's father is made to sit on it. The
bride is asked to sit on her father's lap. Paddy represents abundance and good
fortune. The yoke of a farmer's plough is taken and touched to the forehead of
the bride. It is done with the hope that the couple will always walk together.
The priest and the relatives touch the Mangalsutra and thereby, bless the newly
wedded couple. Thereafter, a sacred yellow thread is handed over to the
bridegroom, which he puts around his wife's neck and ties two knots. The third
knot is tied by the groom's sister. The three knots symbolize the union of the
mind, spirit and body.
Saptapadi
The bridegroom takes his wife's
right hand in his left hand and leads her around the holy fire for seven times.
In every round, she touches her feet to the grindstone hoping that their union
will be firm forever.
Tamil Post-Wedding Rituals
After organizing an enthralling
wedding ceremony, the family of the bride and the groom head towards preparing
the venue for the post wedding celebrations. While grihapravesh is the
post-marriage custom common in almost every region in India, the Tamil Brahmins
have their own way of culminating the auspicious ceremony. Apart from
grihapravesh, wherein the bride enters the groom's house formally in order to
prosper his life there, many other rituals are exclusive to the Tamil-speaking
Brahmins in India.
Tamil Post-Wedding Customs
Sammandhi Mariyathai
Depending upon the financial
status, the families of the newlywed couple exchange gifts and clothes, to mark
the culmination of the wedding. This custom is popularly known as sammandhi
mariyathai.
Laaja Homam & Paaladaanam Custom
The bride's brother offers popped
rice to the groom, which he offers to the holy fire. By doing this, the couple
seeks the blessings of Agni that represents the divine power and light of God.
As a part of Paaladaanam custom,
the couple seeks the blessings of the elderly members of the family by touching
their feet.
Grihapravesham
After the completion of wedding
ceremony, the bride is taken to her husband's house. Aarti is performed to
welcome the newly married couple, as they stand at the doorstep to enter the
home. Thereafter, a lavish feast is served at the wedding venue, when the newly
wedded couple returns from home.
Reception Party
To
facilitate intimacy, the groom's family hosts a reception party in the evening.
People bless the newlyweds and convey them their heartiest wishes. This is the
time, when family, friends, relatives and faraway acquaintances attend the
reception party to shower blessings, gifts and best wishes on the newly married
couple.
